A while ago I went through a break up. I feel freer now, and he hates me a considerable amount, but this fairy-tale love thing was not helping me. I wanted to keep the nice warm feelings that came with having a relationship, until he grew jealous, clingy, and bluntly put-- idolizing. He kept saying if he hadn't met me, he would've killed himself long ago. I was really uncomfortable with this statement, but didn't know why it bugged me until recently. Anyway, though I wished and prayed he was the one for me, and I the one for him, my brain and heart began telling me something.
I needed to learn to grow and to love MySelf, to move forward as a person. I needed to learn to Support myself, so no one else has to, or has to pity me.

I went on a site my brother referred me to, and I began filling out my first job application.
I'm GOING to be talking with my Dad, my Aunt, and regarding it. I don't want any mistakes on it. I'm GOING to become an employee somewhere, no matter what. I'm gonna work hard and help my dad, and pay back who I owe. And plant my feet firmly before walking forward with confidence and a sense of purpose.

Jon, big-brother, our talk in the car today really inspired me. I owe you more than you know. You probably will never read this... but I'm grateful you still tolerate me through everything, and I am proud to be your bro-tranny-thing. DON'T tell Mom I said that last bit.

I'm excited and scared to death. Wish me luck.